Now and then

I remember the feeling. Walking on the weak grass pathway. In my thick winter coat that protected me from the sharp cold wind. The leafs were all kinds of colours. From  yellow to purple. The trees were naked. Lined up , leaving a clear gap in the middle. I saw more colours even in the grass. Patches of green were so rare. Everything was orange. Although the sky was clear, it wasn’t bright. The sun was a dim lamp in the blue background. It was hanging ready to fall . The branches had  no leafs.
You could see all the crows that sit on the branches. Heard all the sounds that the birds made within a long radius from this place. The smell of rotting plants was hunting . It was omnipresent. It did not take a long time to notice the quiet sound of river flowing. As I walked down the alley it became more present. In between the trees I see the shine of the small stream.
The grass and weeds growing on both sides have found an ideal mild habitat to develop in. There were small stones that have deep green moss covering the top. Leafs floating atop the water in the direction of the flow. All colours, decorating the clear stream. In between you can see the riverbed, small fishes that move along without distracting the sand on the ground. Stems of plants poked out of the water. Flowers shrivelling off, death that created a piece of art.
The sky was getting darker and darker but it was only 19:00. The energy was absent. Everything felt weak as if it had no point in life and wanted to die slowly listening the whirling wind . I felt cold, and started heading home.

 

 

I remember that feeling. Walking on the thick deep green grass. Wanting to take of my shirt due to the unbearable heat of the sun’s rays. The trees were thick with leafs and needles. Lined up in two lanes with almost no space in between. Everything was green. I could see beams of light in between the branches as well as rare patches of bright blue . The sky was blue, without a single white cloud blocking the blazing sun that was drying up everything that was not in the shade.
You could have seen all those animals that were lurking behind the trees. There were all kinds of colourful birds in the branches and on the ground there were a 1000 squirrels running about carrying nuts to their shelters, getting ready for the autumn. The sound of birds chirping happily and animals talking to each other was everywhere. It took some time to hear the powerful flow of water running behind the trees on my left. As I got closer it became more and more obvious. I went through the gap,  trying to avoid a branch hitting my face to witness what was behind the sound.
The weeds covered both of the river banks. Protecting the ground from the monstrous current  that it was holding back. There were some stones glittering in the water, that splashed to make them wet, some were completely submerged. There were tons of fish swimming through the liquid, lots of birds flying about. As I walked along I found people who decided to cool themselves from the scorching sun in the relaxing cold of the water. I couldn’t have resisted the urge to swim, it looked so inviting.
It was 19:00 the sun was still terrorizing the environment, giving life and destroying the flora of this ecosystem. The choice to refrigerate myself in the stream was one of the best choices I ever made.


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3 responses to “Now and then”

  1. Christopher Waugh Avatar

    There are some great moments of description here. Instead of suggesting things ‘seem’ a way, consider just saying what they are – providing a clearer and more definite picture to the reader.

    Also remember that the description itself should infer something else – it should help us to get a sense of what might have happened in the place, or how the character feels about it.

    Instead of telling us that the sun is lower, how can you describe that – what is that like to experience?

  2. Christopher Waugh Avatar

    This is progressing well. I would encourage you to read this aloud to me as I think this will help you identify the moments when the flow of the piece lapses or when the description becomes a little repetitive.

    Current grade: 32/40 B2

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